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Tired of Broken Promises

Boyfriend, I love you very much, but I am sooooo done with all these stupid broken promises or take backs.  We, for some reason keep going in this vicious circle of, “We should get married!”, “Really, you really want to?  I am ready when you are. So, when were you thinking…?” “What, I don’t want to get married; I have to complete my training first.” “Wow, okay, then why did you bring it up?  Fine, let’s not talk about it anymore.”  Next day, “I’ve been thinking, we should just get married, no joke.”, “Yea, right – not funny.” “No, seriously, I’ve been thinking about it a lot, I want to for so many reasons.” “Really, okay, I am ready when you are.  So, when were you thinking?” “What, I don’t want to get married until after training is over.” And the circle never ends…

After the first time talking about it and then it not happening, I was over it, but then you brought it up again… So, not totally believing you, I listened to what you had to say and then decided, hey, maybe you are serious.  Then once again, you tell me you cannot yet after telling me you wanted to.  Finally I told you I do not want to talk about it anymore, I am tired of talking about it and it not happening and then the next day you tell me once again, “I know you are not going to believe me, but I have really been thinking about it and I really want to get married before 3rd phase so that you can have insurance, the Navy is paying us to be together, which we would be anyways, AND I’d get to possibly stay stationed in San Diego versus transferring to West Virginia or Hawaii.”  Wow, okay, I am thinking maybe he is actually serious this time, he has brought up several points that I have before, plus another one, something he had really seemed to think about.  So, naturally I tell my family that it is a possibility I may be getting married in less than three months and once again TODAY, I find out – “No, I just want to complete my training first that is all I am thinking about.  But hey, don’t be mad at me.”  Even though you keep dangling the carrot in front of my face and then ripping it away just as I start to nibble it… how can I not be mad?  How can I not be frustrated?  How can I even trust you or believe what you tell me?

Seriously, how long do you think I am going to stick around when you keep doing this to me? Honestly, after you graduate (on my birthday, next year), if we are not married and you get transferred somewhere else, I am done.  I am not going to be sticking around while not living in the same state and only seeing you MAYBE once a year for the next five years… no thank you. 

I am totally not about pushing marriage on someone, I want it to happen because they are ready to get married, BUT quit putting it out there and then taking it back – you are like a five year old “Indian giver”.  Yes I have thought about it, yes, I do want to get married, BUT I wouldn’t be pushing it if you didn’t keep brining it up like you actually wanted to do it.  So STOP it or DO it!