Why Cheat?

Work it outI am tired of hearing about how every couple I know cheats on their spouse or significant other (mainly a spouse).  What happened to being in love and re-creating that love and talking things through instead of giving up and giving in and cheating on your spouse or significant other?  What is the point of being married or being in a relationship if you are going to do that?

My boyfriend and I agreed that if for some reason we ever had the need to cheat that we would talk about it, figure out the problem in our relationship and work through it, or break up.  We both agreed that there is no point to being in a committed relationship if you are going to cheat on your significant other.  I have several married friends who have cheated on their spouse.  Do I agree with that?  No.  If you are looking elsewhere than your spouse, then there is something wrong with your marriage and you should talk about it first before you act on it.  If for some reason you figure out that the romance is gone or the attraction, why not try and recreate it, or get into shape, or wear something sexy or go out on a date, etc.  Try to fix it before you throw it away. 

My mom’s ex husband had been a bachelor his whole life and decided to marry my mom at age 45.  They were married in June and come February, he started having an affair with a co-worker.  Six months later, he decided to end it and his co-worker flipped out.  She told his boss and accused my mom’s husband (at the time) of sexually harassing her.  The only reason my mom even found out was because my mom’s husband had to bring her in to his work and confess everything he had done with his mistress in front of his boss (since it now involved the company) and my mom at the same time.   Even though he had cheated on her, and even though my mom was extremely upset, she still tried to give her marriage a chance (btw, all three of her marriages ended in divorce due to all three husbands cheating on her).  Her husband decided he couldn’t be with her anymore and then asked for a divorce.  Since the divorce (and like with every other husband as well) he has now wanted her back to try and make it work.

That’s another thing that frustrates me about marriages today.  People give up so easy, one fight and BAM time for a divorce.  Did you not promise to love and to cherish one another for better or for worse?  What happened to that, was it a joke, were you crossing your fingers?  It’s like it’s a cool thing to get divorced these days.  I cannot say marriage is easy, actually I know that it is difficult, but I do know that once I get married that I will give it my all and do my best for better or for worse to make things work and if for some reason I ever felt the need to cheat, I would talk about it with my spouse first to figure out the problem within our marriage before looking elsewhere.