I was just hired on full time as a Studio Manager at a casting studio (perfect timing as I believe my other job may be ending in the near future, not by my choice) and as soon as all of my friends and family found out, they questioned if it would still be possible for me to act while working full time.  I, luckily have a boss who is in the industry and super easy to work with (actually several of my last bosses were like that: Grant, Heather and Bob were all super nice and flexible).  My boss had even mentioned that he wanted to keep my hours flexible just in case I had an audition, etc.  I was thankful he said that, but I haven’t been taking time off for auditions, I’ve been taking time off for family which I have realized to me is more important lately than anything. 

When I decided to take the job and the reason for me getting the job in the first place, was because I had told my casting directors that I was thinking of quitting acting for awhile because I wasn’t sure if it was still what I wanted.  I was tired of the inconsistent pay checks, the crazy scheduling, etc.  I wanted something more stable and lately like I had previously said family is super important to me and I have been thinking about having my own family in the distant, but near future (as in like two years from now).

As soon as I mentioned to my friends that I was thinking of quitting acting (for awhile), they all freaked out, one by one. I am not sure if it was because of what they all seem to say: that they thought I was talented and they do not want to see me give up, which I am not giving up OR if it was because if I “give up” then what to do they have to look forward to and it possibly made them start questioning their future as an actor.  Me, who was so gung-ho on acting is all of a sudden not acting, what?!  On the other hand, I have always loved producing films, especially indie films and where I am at right now (as a Studio Manager), I have a high chance of pursing producing, which is the path I would like to go down at this moment. 

I still get asked to audition, in fact the other day I was reader for a director’s casting session and he wanted to book me instead of the girls that auditioned because he liked how I had interacted with all the different guys during my read at the casting session.  I kindly turned down the part (after debating taking it).  My heart just isn’t there right now, it’s not what I want at this very moment so I know I wouldn’t put as much energy and focus into the character that is needed.     

I know in my heart that I will one day go back to acting, but I honestly do not think I will be able to until I can fully focus just on the acting aspect.  On set now I am too focused on things that should not concern me, such as continuity, etc. I know that if I really focus on acting, and by really focusing I mean live, eat and breathe acting and nothing else, than I can be amazing and it will be worth it, but until then, my passion is just not there.  Do keep a look out for me as a producer – I have things in the works, such as a documentary on the children of the Philippines/Child United and getting my good friend, Maureen Francisco’s name out there!