Where to start… Farrah Fawcett died this morning from her long three year battle with anal cancer.  Apparently last month the cancer had spread to her liver, and she had stopped her treatment.  When people do that, they know they do not have much longer to live.  This is incredibly sad to me, not just because I thought she was a beautiful and talented person, but also because one of my good friends has colon cancer and it has also spread to his liver.  His colon was removed about six months back and he has been fighting, stage 4 (terminal stage) for almost a year now.  The chemo has been working in the sense that his cancer is not growing, but it is not going away either – his liver is spotted with it.   This makes me incredibly sad, because my friend is only 36, even 62 is too young to die.  He has plans of him and his wife having a family, they had just bought a house before he was diagnosed, a week after they had bought it, he found out about the cancer.  Their house is in Washington being rented out while he seeks medical treatment in Minnesota.  This good friend of mine and my boyfriends is coming to see me today… when things like this happen, it just makes you appreciate life even more.

On a happy note – last night before going to bed, I was going through all my old acting notes from AADA and I came across my goals from my first year acting class.  My goals were that two years after I graduated, which was in 2005, that by 2007 I star in my first feature film.  I did!  I even started my own production company too!  My business partners, and AADA Alum had started a production company called Inspireworks back in the beginning of 2007 and my business partner had written our feature length film, which we secured funding for and shot it in June of 2007 – I starred in it alongside my other two business partners.  My goal for five years after graduating, so that would be 2010 is to be in a Hollywood feature film, win an Academy Award (I still have a year and a half to complete), be a successful actress, help others to get where I am at, and never give up!  I was 21 when I set these goals for myself and I have not seen them since at least 2005, but it was probably 2004 when I had seen them last and 2003 when I had written it.  This just made me smile… I am on track!  I have even helped several others get to where I am, or at least help them along the way!

My main goal for looking through my notes was to find inspiration and help on how to pursue my audition today.  I miss acting college, because there are so many things to think about before you pursue a role and for some reason, I always forget the important things, like it is not about the lines, its about the emotions, the reaction, the silence, thoughts, etc.  Your character or you as a person would never go back and re-correct a line, they would continue on with it and still be themselves, not fall out of “character” and become someone else….  Just things that are so obvious that they are hitting me in the face and for some reason I keep over looking these things.

For some reason, Twilight inspires me.  It makes me want to be an actress so badly.  Every now and then something comes along that really truly inspires me, and for some reason, it is that film and those series of books.  I am not sure at all why…  I mean, I know personally why I like them; I love the romance aspect of the books and film, but for acting… why?  I am not sure, but I know that I HAVE to be in one of those four films, I can feel it.

So, today, audition for a feature film, then back home to meet up with my dear friend and his wife.  We’ll head to dinner, I was thinking P.F. Changs.  Then off to see DH’s show (break a leg DH)!  Wish me luck!