My dream book does not arrive until Wednesday, yet I keep having weird dreams that I want badly to know the meanings of.  I had many dreams last night, but the only one I remember is the one about the kitten. I think I dreamt about this kitten because of Saturday night’s trip to Santa Barbara with the kitten in the music store and because my friend Christina’s kitty just had babies.

In my dream I had found this sweet little black and white kitten.  It started to follow me home, meowing at me all the way (I was just walking down my neighborhood street as the kitten followed).  I thought it may have belonged to someone else, but it was a tiny little kitten, so I took it in anyways.  I was living with my mom and step dad in my dream (which I have not done since I was 13).  Somehow in my dream either time passed or the kitten grew 3x her size, but still not close to being a full grown adult.  I was out in the garage holding the kitten while my step dad was working on something.  I set the kitten down to go get her some food and when I come back out my step dad told me he was not sure where the cat went.  Thirty minutes later I hear this constant, scared meowing coming from the car (it was a car full of stuff, like someone was going on a road trip, but it looked like a car that we had never used; it was old and covered in dust).  I look in the window and the kitten is locked inside this car, wrapped in a coat and blankets with just its little head sticking out.  I quickly take it out of the car and I realize that the kitten cannot move, like it has been paralyzed.  I asked my step dad what he did, what did he give it, he told me not to worry that he gave it a mixture of: oil, vinegar, water, and paint thinner.  PAINT THINNER?  He wanted to kill the cat so I did not have to worry about it.  I held the kitten in my arms, crying, until the cat died.

When I woke up, I felt like I had been crying, so weird.  I remember we had several kittens while living with my mom and step dad.  One was my brother’s called Halloween because it was black, orange, white and yellow.  My brother was jumping down from his bed one day and accidently landed on the kitten, crushing it’s rib cage and killing it, we were all so upset.  Another kitten of ours went up into our step dad’s truck near the engine (we lived in the middle of the woods, so the animals would sometimes go up in the truck’s engine to keep warm).  Usually my step dad always pounded on the hood of his truck before starting the truck to scare away any animals that might be under there. The one day he did not pound on the truck’s hood, there was our kitten hiding up there and as soon as he turned on the engine it somehow (maybe the fan, I am not sure), shredded the cat to pieces, he felt horrible.

I am assuming that the death of the kitten and me living at my mom and step dad’s house was the reason why it took place there (because of what had happened when I was younger), but I am not sure why my step dad killed my kitten in the dream…