Bobby and Yuka

J’s best friend Bobby and his wife Yuka came into town Thursday.  They arrived a few hours after my audition, and came to my apartment since J is in San Diego.  I have adopted them as my really good friends too, even though I have really only seen them a handful of times; they are just the sweetest people ever. 

Bobby was just diagnosed with colon cancer almost a year ago, right after he had come back from being stationed in Japan (where he met and married his adorable wife), and only a week after buying his house in Whidbey Island.  He then had to move for treatment to Minnesota and be close with his sister who lives there and can help to take care of him, since his wife is not working yet, nor fully driving (she is doing great with her English though and wants to help as much as possible).  His cancer then spread to his liver and he had to have his colon removed, but through it all – he has been a good sport.  He takes his chemo treatments every other week (he is usually sick the week he takes the chemo, but better the week he’s off) and he feels blessed to be alive everyday, even if that just means being able to look his wife in the eyes.

Bobby and Yuka mean the world to me.  I wish we all lived closer so that I could help in anyway necessary, even if that just meant moral support (which I try to do as much as possible via phone and cards). 

They arrive at my house on Thursday and we had plans to go to dinner and see my friend DH’s show in North Hollywood.  Bobby had mentioned how much he missed J and was sad that he could not see him while he was visiting (J cannot really get away during “school” nights at BUD/S).  I mentioned to them, that although they have been driving for hours on end, that if they wanted I would drive them to San Diego to see J and we could all grab dinner there – they were super excited about that!  I felt bad for skipping out on DH’s show, but I knew I would make it up to him, plus my company was only in town till Friday  morning, and I have no clue when/if I will ever be able to see them again.   I call up J to see if that is okay and he is happy to see Bobby too, so we head down to San Diego.  I always forget that Bobby loves to drive and going on road trips… if it were me I would not want to drive anymore when I did not have to after being on the road for so long.

Once we get in to San Diego, we pick up J in Coronado, and head to downtown San Diego for dinner.  J is slightly standoff-ish, and is obviously stressed out.  He also has a hard time doing more than one thing at a time, which then also stresses him out.  He cannot drive and talk on the phone, or give directions while talking on the phone, etc.  I do not know my way around San Diego that well, heck I am just learning where I live (I was used to just living in Hollywood the whole time while in LA), so I keep asking J where to go, but he is on the phone talking to someone about his jeep so he is getting frustrated, I am getting frustrated and finally Bobby and Yuka convince me to park in the parking garage.  We pull in and J’s mad that we are paying to park when we could have walked like 5 blocks and parked for free (although I drove around, I DID NOT see ANY parking).  Plus, I am not sure how much walking is too hard on Bobby right now.

We decide on a restaurant and walk in that direction.  I can tell that J is also tired and sore, so that adds to his crankiness.  I know he takes it out on my a lot because he feels comfortable with me, but it is upsetting and frustrating all at the same time.

We finally grab a table, Bobby and Jason trade stories, Bobby asks questions about J’s training and we eat dinner.  J also does this new thing where he no longer eats and talks, since when they actually eat, they only have time to eat, not mess around, when before I would be done like an hour before him because he would talk the whole time (and because he cannot do two things at once) he would not eat.  He is half standoff-ish and half normal while at the table, a few times he actually shows me affection, which I gladly take in, because I did not drive two and a half hours to see him and be ignored or be treated badly.

We finish dinner, take J home and me, Bobby and Yuka head back to my studio in LA.  On the way back I mention to Bobby how J upsets me.  Bobby kindly reminded me that he is going through a lot of changes and that BUD/S trains him to be like an animal, and that he has to learn to switch over to being normal again, which can take time and will be hard on him (makes me think of Jacob in Twilight).  He then told me a story about when he used to go on the boats for six months at a time and once he would get off the boat he would be like an animal (from just being surrounded by men on a boat for six months straight) and it took him a few days to adjust to normal living again – what would men do without women?

Finally, we arrive back at my apartment and Bobby and I shared his parking space, hoping to not get a ticket the next morning from the street cleaning police…